


Go to Sleep, My Love

by BlueEyedWolf33



Series: Hobbit Imagines [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Tear-inducing fluff, Tears, sad!Fili, so many tears, warrior!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedWolf33/pseuds/BlueEyedWolf33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the imagine from imaginexhobbit:</p>
<p>Imagine Fili telling you about the life he wished you two would have had as you lay dying after protecting him during the Battle Of Five Armies</p>
<p>P.S. I'm sorry</p>
<p>Azaghâl = Warrior</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go to Sleep, My Love

Gritting your teeth, you willed your arm to raise your sword above your head one final time. However, your aching body was only able to get it partway up to where you truly wanted it so you had no other choice. Your other hand rose from where it had been staunching the blood flowing from the deep wound on your stomach so that you could grip the sword in both your hands to lift it.

The large orc growled up at you from his place at your feet, its dark eyes glaring at you defiantly. Using what remained of your strength, you brought your weapon down, effectively killing the beast.

A sound that was a mixture of a heaving sigh and a groan of pain escaped your lips as you once again held your sword limply in one hand while the other immediately shot to your wound which pulsed painfully with your killing strike. Your eyes scanned the surrounding ruins, finding absolute relief that it appeared as though you had taken care of the last of the orcs on Ravenhill.

Finally, you could rest.

A second strangled sound left your lips as you let your loyal sword fall from your hand so that it clattered loudly onto the stones beneath foot. Pure relief coursed through you as you stood there, eyes staring off blindly into the sun that had somehow broken through the thick clouds that had accumulated during the battle.

Slowly sinking to your knees, you allowed your eyes to fall shut and a small smile curled your lips. Your job was done and now it was time for you to finally breathe. Pulling your hand away, you blankly stared down at the scarlet liquid that covered your leather covered palm, finding that it no longer fazed you.

_So, this is where your journey ends._  You thought to yourself squeezing that hand into a fist as you once again stared off into the distance.  _This is finally where I meet my end._  A few tears pricked at your eyes but a satisfied smirk settled on your features nonetheless.  _Honorably protecting the line of Durin._

By some miracle, you had killed Bolg, unknowingly saving Kili and perhaps even Fili. But unfortunately, the large orc had also given you a nice gift to remember him by before he met his demise at the tip of your sword. A gift that would also bring your own ending. And yet, you still fought on with the singular thought to protect the Durin heirs in mind until Ravenhill was cleared of all foul creatures.

Unable to hold yourself up any longer, you collapsed onto the hard ground, your hand still desperately clutching at the thick armor in hopes of somehow stopping the extensive flow of warm liquid trickling down your torso and onto your trousers. Your back met the cold, hard ground and yet, you found you could care less as you lay there. All you had to do now was wait for your own inevitable end.

There was nothing more you could do but stare up at the sky which was slowly turning lighter with every second that passed.

_At least they are safe._  You thought as you licked your lips since what felt like the first time since the battle had begun which truthfully felt like a decade ago. During the fight, it had felt as though every part of your body ached but now as you lay on the hard stones, a strange heaviness filled your limbs.  _At least he is safe._

Thoughts of the golden prince suddenly swirled inside your head, bringing you more comfort than pain.

The two of you had become closer than what was undoubtedly appropriate since all those months ago when Gandalf had asked you turn up in the Shire in hopes of providing extra protection for the exiled king and his nephews.

You remembered the first time you had caught sight of him: Gandalf had just finished introducing you to the Company in Bag End and the rest of the dwarves had left to return to their food when the dwarf prince came up to talk to you. Fili been the first to offer his ‘services’ to you, whatever that meant. Now being the gruff and rather pessimistic ranger that you were due to your life full of hardships, you had only laughed bitterly in his face and said you didn’t require his services but you were unfortunately at his.

He had of course deflated a bit at this, not used to being snubbed so easily and by a woman no less. But, you couldn’t help it. When your family and all those you had ever loved had been taken from you in the night raid, you had sworn yourself to a life of service, protecting those who could not defend themselves. And you had lived a life of isolation and vengeance.

You were cold and standoffish but concerning risky jobs as this, you had to be.

However, as the journey progressed, both Fili and his brother had continued to pry at the emotional walls you had put up around yourself since that faithful night and it seemed as though they only found success, though it was slow going. You had almost become a legend in the North, for your skills with a sword were renowned. And, with the threat of Azog the Defiler being reborn, the Company could use another blade to protect the line of Durin.

At first, you had been detached and impersonal. This was just another job; a job with a healthy promise of gold when everything was over. You, however, had made a grave mistake.

You had become attached.

And not just to the young heirs but to the rest of the Company as well, even the hobbit but more surprisingly, the King Under the Mountain himself. It was strange, the sense of loyalty you felt towards him and his kin. As time passed, you had softened drastically and found that you were quite found of the dwarves, some more than others.

Fili being the one you were most fond of.

It had been an accident of course. You hadn’t meant for it to happen but does anyone ever mean to fall in love with someone?

Amazingly enough, the blond prince reciprocated your feelings, as he had told you when the two of you had been casually searching the halls of Erebor, looking for wares and supplies for the Company during their stay in the mountain.

You two had been completely alone when he told you how he felt about you. He had said it so sadly though, having thought that you would never feel the same, that you could never love him the way he loved you. It had only been half a moment before you completely banished those thoughts from his head when you stepped towards him and soundly kissed him, showing him just  _how much you_  loved him.

The flapping of large wings brought you from your thought process and you slowly opened your eyes, your mind vaguely registering that huge birds- no, eagles- were flying overhead. They were the same that had already saved the Company from peril once and here they were again.

You were once again going to close your eyes and simply succumb to the blackness that was starting to gnaw at you but all those thoughts fled when you heard footsteps and they were getting closer.

Weakly raising your head off the ground, you looked around at the ruins of what was once a lookout tower and found that it was empty but you could still hear someone approaching. Swallowing thickly, you reached a hand up and into your shoulder armor, your hand closing around the hilt of a dagger that you had placed there. For it seemed that Fili’s habit of hiding weapons in every possible knock and cranny had rubbed off on you as well.

It was a stray orc or goblin, you figured, having come back to search the bodies of its fallen comrade for anything that could be even remotely useful.

Gripping the hilt of the weapon tightly, you simply lay your head back against the ground. Feigning dead and attacking when the beast was least suspecting was your only option. So, just as you had been doing for the past couple minutes, you lay there and waited.

“Y/N?!” At hearing the familiar voice, your eyes shot open. The footfalls increased dramatically in speed and you could hear rapidly breathing.

Ignoring the cold that was seeping into your limbs, you felt your eyes begin to tear up and you allowed your head to turn to the side. And you saw him then, the dwarf who owned the voice.  _Your_  dwarf.

“Fili.” You breathed in relief, happy to see him fine, standing before you, looking to be fairing well save for the fact that he looked very battle-worn and exhausted. You released the dagger in your land, causing it to clink as it landed on the snowy ground.

“Y/N…” His eyes were locked with your’s for a long moment before he rushed forward to kneel at your side.

Instantly, one of his hands was clutching to your own and his eyes moved lower, wanting to search you over for any wounds and you watched as he froze when his eyes reached your abdomen. Horror bloomed in his beautiful blue eyes and his mouth fell open as a shuddering breath escaped his lips.

It was plain to see that he saw the reason as to why you hadn’t come running to him with a huge smile on your lovely face.

Bringing his other hand to his mouth, he bit the end of one of his leather glad fingers and pulled the glove from his hand before tossing it away as if it was nothing. The next thing you registered was his large, warm palm cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone. The blond princeling was just staring down into your eyes, worry and deep sadness filling the bright blue pools.

There was a harsh wind that suddenly blew across the mountain range, sweeping across the two of you. Being human and not having as thick of skin as dwarves, you couldn’t help but shiver slightly when the cold hit you.

“I’m s-so cold, Fili.” You managed to stutter out, both the cold from the winter winds and… something else beginning to creep into your muscles.

“Okay.” He bent over you and pressed his lips to your brow, his voice showing how unsettled he was. “I’m-I’m going to be right back, Y/N. I’m going to find help just… Stay still.” He told you, his crystal clear eyes gazing intently into your own, showing the fear he was feeling.

“Fili, it’s-it’s no use.” You told him and you watched how his own eyes glassed over more. A soft, barely audible but still shuddering sigh escaped his lips at your words.

“I must try.” The prince stated, almost as if he were trying to convince himself more than you. “I must try to save you.” He gave your cheek one final affectionate stroke with his thumb and with a last look at your pale face, he rose to his feet and began to move off.

Your eyes slipped closed and a few stray tears fell from the corners of your eyes. Licking your lips, the dwarf prince didn’t get very far before you were calling out to him.

“Fili!” His footsteps slowed. Turning your head, you opened your glistening eyes to find him looking back intently at him. “Amrâlimê, please…” You whimpered, fear beginning to curl around your own heart. You didn’t know if you would last until he returned. And even if he did find help and you managed to survive those minutes alone, there was little that could be done for you. “Please  _don’t leave me_.”

Swallowing thickly, the dwarf gazed out into the distance, his eyes still glassy as he fought against himself. And he himself had seen the wound, seen how much blood you were loosing. He was no healer and in fact knew very little about medicine… but even he knew.

Turning to look back at you, it almost broke your heart to see the tears brimming in his eyes but he nonetheless nodded.

"I won’t.” He promised you, his lip quivering slightly.

Walking back over to you, he once again knelt down at your side and instead slid his arms underneath you, one underneath your back and the other beneath your knees. Very carefully, he lifted you into his lap and maneuvered you so that he was cradling you in his arms, providing your body with a bit of extra warmth. He leaned back so that his back was braced against a boulder and another was blocking out the wind, protecting the both of you from the cold mountain air.

“Is that better?” He asked you quietly as he shifted his grip on you, one of his hands draping across your lap so that he could hold his hand in your own, completely uncaring if your blood soiled his clothes.

You just weakly nodded your head in response as you gazed up at him. Something was dulled in your normally sparkling irises, as if you were not entirely there with him on the mountainside.

And it terrified him to no end.

“I looked for you forever.” The prince muttered, his thumb stroking the back of your hand. “One moment I was ridding behind you on a goat and then you were gone.”

You had remembered: Thorin had somehow found you in the mix of battle and had pulled you aside. He had asked you to follow him up to Ravenhill so that you, one of his best and most trusted fighters, could help him end the war without so much bloodshed. And you had gone with him, following your king’s command without a second thought.

“But you found me.” You replied, weakly smiling up at him. Reaching up, you lightly tugged on one of the ends of his braided mustache, hoping that even in your state, you could ease some of his tension.

He didn’t respond and instead just furrowed his brow slightly.

You didn’t want it to end like this, seeing him looking down at you with nothing but remorse in his normally warm eyes. This was not the Fili you knew. This was not the Fili that made you laugh or that had kept you company during your turn on night watch. This was not  _your_  dwarf.

Turning your head, you just stared up at the sky once again, finding it fascinating that it was now turning golden.

“Azaghâl…” He said quietly, desperately wanting your attention in your last few minutes in Middle Earth.

“Not like this.” You ignored the endearment, one he had been calling you long before he had expressed his feelings to you. He and Kili often did during that during the quest, spoke in their language when important matters, mostly concerning you, came up. And you didn’t understand a word they said, until Fili began to share bits of Khuzdul with you.

Your eyes once again drifted to his and you saw the question lying in those azure pools. “I don’t want to go like this; seeing you like this.” You begged him as you nestled closer to his body, searching for a warmth that would do little in warming you. “Let us talk of happier times.”

“Okay.” He said quietly, slowly nodding his head as well to reassure you.

“What do we do… now that the battle is over?” You asked offhandedly, eyes lightly following an eagle that suddenly flew over your hiding spot. Fili didn’t say anything but he was suddenly wondering why you were asking such a question. “Now that the war is won, where do we go from here?”

It took him a moment but the prince eventually came to understand what exactly it was you wanted.

“Well…” He started slowly, one corner of his mouth curling upward and yet the action held no happiness in it. “I think you could use a bath.” He reached out and lightly stroked your matted hair, his thick fingers gently running over the very braid that he had tied there the night before. A promise to you, he had said.

“You’re looking rather filthy yourself, Master Dwarf.” You teased him, your voice coming out softly as you cupped his own cheek, your thumb brushing away some orc blood from his soft skin. A slow and rather devious smirk found it’s way onto your lips as rather inappropriate thoughts filled your head. “We could save water and bathe together…?”

The prince’s brow rose in what was either surprise or interest before a soft smile pulled at his lips. “I would have it no other way… my lady.”

Your smile instantly fell and it was now your turn to raise a brow at him while he continued to beam. It had been established early on in the journey that titles were not to be used, especially when referring to you. You were not a lady and you never thought you would be. But, more recent events had caused you to rethink those thoughts.

It was quiet between the two of you for a long moment.

Your brow suddenly furrowed, for genuine concern suddenly washed over you. “How do we plan to get the dragon-stink out of the mountain?” A hardy chuckle came from the dwarf beneath you, one that was actually full of amusement and was  _real_. You yourself couldn’t help the lazy grin on your lips at the sound of joy and at the idea itself. “Honestly,  _how_? Because when we were in there, especially in the treasure room, it smelled horrible…”

“We’ll figure something out.” He mused, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. “Uncle and Kili will surely think of something.”

“Kili and Thorin.” Your mind suddenly snapped to the other two members of the line of Durin. For it seemed as though it was only Fili that you had only ever been concerned about. “Do they live?”

“Yes, both of them.” The blond told you, adoration shinning in his eyes. “No thanks to you.”

“You know Kili is going to be of very little help when it comes to cleaning up…” You mused offhandedly, the lazy grin still on your lips. “He’s going to milk that arrow wound for months to come.”

“You could put him in his place?”

“Oh, I will.” You promised him playfully, relaxing further into the prince’s arms as you spoke about the future. A future that was never meant to be.

Again, it was quiet for a long beat.

“Uncle says that spring isn’t too far away.” Fili broke the silence, his thumb gently stroking over your knuckles, finding it a bit unsettling that they were starting to get cold. For a moment, he just gazed off into the distance, watching as the eagles continued to soar above what remained of the battle. “He says that once spring rolls around, the valleys and prairies will be painted green with life. That the trees will be lush and heavy with fruit.” He allowed his gaze to fall to you and a broad smile, a genuine one, pulled at his lips. “And he said that the hollows will be filled with wild flowers of every color imaginable.” However, the happiness that once shown on his face melted away and was once again replaced with sadness. “I can’t wait to show you.” Releasing your hand, he once again raised his to lightly stroke the thick braid woven into your hair. And just as before, his eyes once again began to glisten. “And I have to fulfill this promise…” He licked his lips and he swallowed thickly. “This promise of marriage that I have given you.” A few tears slipped from his eyes as he gazed so longingly at you.

He hadn’t told you what the braid meant as he wove it into your hair the previous night. He had just said that once the battle was over, he would tell you. He promised you so.

“I can see you now…” A teary smile drew back his lips. “So beautiful and dressed all in white, surrounded by all those wild flowers because that’s what you are… my wild flower.”

He sniffed suddenly as he tried to regain his composure as those amazingly beautiful yet traitorous thoughts continued to plunder his mind.

“And Uncle says that one day, he’ll step down from the throne and that I will become king, making you my Queen Under the Mountain.” He shook his head slightly in disbelief. “I will give you everything, my love. Everything you could ever wish for.”

You just stared up at him as he spoke of this beautiful future, your e/c eyes half idled as a sleepiness began to edge at your mind.

“Heirs of our own would be expected-”

“And no doubt we would have so much fun making those heirs.” You added quietly, a sly smirk now in place on your features. Fili just chuckled at your remark, taking a moment to sniffle again.

“Beautiful children…” He began again, still staring down at you lovingly.

“Blonde children.” You corrected him, weakly reaching up to card a hand through his own golden mane. “Though we can only pray that I give you blond boys.”

“I would undoubtedly take whatever child you blessed me with.” He murmured as your hand slid down to cup his cheek. His own hand raised to join your’s, his large, warm palm enveloping your tiny hand entirely. “And we would love them… all of them.” A fresh wave of tears began flowing down his cheeks. “Every single child that you blessed me with.”

“Kili would be an uncle.” You added, your eyes slipping closed as you rested your head on his broad chest. “He would be so happy.” You managed to breathe out, a content smile on your lips as an image of a smiling, brunet prince teaching one of your blond boys to shoot a bow played through your mind. But then, the rest of the Company came in as well, all of them loving and providing wisdom to the newest Durin heirs.

“Uncle would be proud, too.” An image of the dark haired king reading to your little ones flashed through your head. “You know, he has become quite fond of you. He said he would be proud and honored to call you his daughter.”

You just hummed in response as you nuzzled closer to your dwarf, finding that sleep was beckoning you still.

“Y/N…” The blond prince softly called your name, causing you to slowly withdraw from the darkness and open your eyes once again. “Azaghâl…?”

You slowly drew back from where your head had been tucked beneath his chin, a questioning look in your irises. His hand raised to gently cup your cheek. He just stared at you with those beautiful blue eyes of his once again before he found it almost unbearable to look at you any longer what with the way your eyes were drooping so.

Dipping his head, he braced his forehead against your own and his eyes closed tightly, as if he were silently pleading with the Maker to let you stay in this world with him.

“I love you.” He whispered, his voice quaking with emotion.

“I love you, too.” You breathed back and you allowed your own eyes to fall shut as you simply drank in his loving embrace.

It didn’t surprise you when you felt his warm lips cover your own pair and instead you relished in this contact, this unfortunate, final kiss between the two of you.

After what felt like an eternity, your love drew back from you and the two of you gazed at each other again. You couldn’t help but let your e/c eyes drink in every feature of his handsome face, permanently burning your dwarf prince into your mind.

Slowly tilting your head to the side, you simply lay back in his arms and offered him a final, loving smile as you closed your eyes and instead nuzzled closer to him again, feeling the weight of sleep tugging on you again.

The blond just shifted his grip on you and pulled you closer, knowing that his time with you was coming to an end.

“I’m so tired, Fee.” You said quietly, settling finally against him, a content sigh escaping your nose as you burrowed your face deeper into the warm flesh of his neck.

“I know, Azaghâl.” A hard sob wracked through his body, finding that it was now near impossible to keep himself together as he pulled you impossibly close to his body. He craned his neck and placed a loving kiss into your hair, his face remaining there as the tears flowed silently down his cheeks, his nose breathing in your scent. His next words would be the hardest he would ever say and so he was quiet for a moment but even a millennia of steeling himself wouldn’t have been enough. It would never be enough to let you go.

“You… can go to sleep now… I’ll-I'll be right here when you wake up.”

And with those words, you completely relaxed against him, a single tear of your own escaping from the corner of your eye as you finally accepted this warm and welcoming sleep, completely at ease in your love’s protective embrace. You finally let go.

It was only after he had listened to your breathing cease that Fili finally allowed the hard and jostling sobs to wrack his entire body as he curled around his One. For he had waited because he certainly did not wish to wake you from your sleep, the sleep that you would forever sleep in his arms.


End file.
